~The BaD Radio Fantasy Newsletter~
The clear headline of the week's results was the highly unlikely tie between owners Brenden Morrow and Gabe Kapler. After 16 games of football, their nine players had each totaled exactly 118.22 points. Stunning. A few what-if's for each side: had Isaac Bruce not lost yards on some ill-advised end-around, Kapler would have won by .08; had Terrell Owens not had a pass called back by offensive pass interference, Morrow would have won; had the Saints been coached by Belichick and continued to run their offense with the game in hand, Brees could have easily scored more and Gabe would have won; and finally, had the Bears been able to avoid biting on a fake so hard Mike Tyson was impressed (topical!), Mason Crosby would have never kicked an extra point, and Brenden would have won by one.
With two high-profile matches against longtime rivals, Norm Hitzges was easily labeled as the owner with the most in the balance this week. With week one completed, the scales come out decidedly out of his favor, losing to Dan Mc Dowell and Donovan Lewis by scores of 128-83 and 139-83, respectively. Dan's win was keyed, as it surely will be in many weeks, by Tony Romo's 42 points. Donovan, however, found his scoring from a player not on his roster: Jake Delhomme. Delhomme turned the ball over five times, keying the 38 points Donovan received from the Eagles' defense.
Monday night saw Tom Brady lead his team from the brink of sure defeat to achieve a surprise victory, and that team—Bob Sturm's One-Man Wolfpack—is surely happy with its first round pick this week. Wolfpack entered Monday with a mere 43.1 points, but thanks to Brady and LaDanian Tomlinson, he left it with a 88-65 win. Were the Wolfpack to fall flat, opponent Chris Burney could have left the week with a win despite garnering only 65 points, making him the luckiest winner of the week. With Sturm's surge, that spot is now occupied by your author, who triumphed over Computer despite gaining only 86 points.
The honor of owner who must desrerves the opportunity to curse the fantasy Gods goes to the aforementioned Mr. Kapler. In additon to his tie, he fell to Donovan's Team Blackface despite his team scoring a full 118 points. Even with Drew Brees and his six passing touchdowns, Kapler leaves the week with a 0-1-1 record. Kapler's team's has had such luck you'd almost think they were the Tampa Bay Rays.
Three teams leave the week with hopes of the undefeated season intact as Blackface, Fun To Do Bad Things and Bill Guerin's Pennsylvania Piranha's top the standings at 2-0. Of the three, the Piranhas stand as the clear superior after one week, having scored 173 points on the strength of Adrian Peterson and Reggie Wayne, who accounted for 81 points. That total would have been enough to beat the total output of two teams this week. Heading to week two, Guerin owns the team to beat.
Question 1: Who has Steve Smith?
ReplyDeleteQuestion 2: Is that person pooing himself?